Sex is a very special topic
Having worked in sex education with children, teenagers and grown ups has given me a realistic idea about the sexual developmental stages at all ages of a human beings life. The topic of sex is a very special one – and this counts for all ages.
The FAZ Sunday edition from 9. September 2012 (and it has not been updated to-date) has published the article “How can I talk to my child?”. They claim: “Research has found out that in Germany 64% of the population older than 16 years old do not want to to talk about sexual issues – either with family members or with friends or partners.”Over the years, as I have collected experience working in the field of sex education with children and teenagers and sexual therapy with adults, it’s clear again and again that the issue of sexuality is a very special one. Being ashamed and embarrassed, feeling insecure and wrong ideas often stand contrary to the perfect sexual world presented in mass media. And with it comes a widespread silence.
This refusal to talk about sex plus the lack of knowledge also apply to psychotherapists – sex therapy needs a specific training.
Why care about sex therapy at all?
It is very simple: if the sex life of a couple is compromised for a long period of time, it highly influences the quality and the satisfaction of the relationship.
Who attends sex therapy sessions?
My clients vary in age from 16 to 80 years. Men and women come for individual therapy or for couple therapy sessions. For most of them it was not an easy step to ask for an appointment. Some of them have suffered for years clinging to the false hope that the problem will go away by itself. After having finally explored their sexual issue many of them have felt relieved.
Which problems are adressed in sex therapy?
Women suffer from
- pain while sexual intercourse (dyspareunia)
- a somehow ‘closed’ vagina (vaginismus)
Men suffer from
- problems with erection (erectile dysfunction)
- coming too early to climax (premature ejaculation/ejaculation praecox)
- difficulties using Viagra or similar medication
Women and men suffer from
- lack of sexual desire
- difficulties in reaching orgasm
- insecurity concerning their sexual identity
- addiction to porn
- pressure to masturbate
One observation about sex education
If you remember your own sex education you most probably wish that it would have been different. If you have children of your own you may wish that they have a better informed sex education that you did but do not know how to proceed.
Sex education starts from day one of a babies life and is not the single talk you have with your teenage daughter or son. If you would like to know more I gladly meet with you.